In life, we engage in many things based upon our intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.  Intrinsic motivation is the act of doing something without any external reward.  Intrinsic motivation is driven by you individually and is based upon what you personally want to achieve for yourself without the need for reward, validation or confirmation from others.  Extrinsic motivation is reward driven; external factors drive this sense of motivation like: praise, reward, money, acceptance by others and/or fame.  When you think about your relationships, ask yourself, what motivates you?   What is your reason to stay with your mate?   What is your reason to leave your mate?   What is your reason to fight to keep your relationship?   What’s your reason for going back after you left?  What’s your reason for choosing the mate you chose? Is your reason, status?  Is it age?  Is it money?  Is it for the love of your relationship?  Is it for the sake of not being alone?  Is it for advancement?  Is it for the sake of the children?  What’s your reason?  What’s your why?    What motivates you to do what you do?  Whatever your reason is, it should be a wise decision and what’s best for you. 

 

As we travel through this journey called life, we think differently about who we align ourselves with.  This is why this topic is so important and those questions are extremely important to determining whether you are making decisions for the right reasons.  As we get older, we date with a purpose.  We make intelligent decisions.  We think about our future and how we want to live.  We begin to understand the importance of developing and maintaining healthy relationships and should no longer make excuses and rationalize about our life decisions.  

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Through logical reasoning, we uncover our reason for why we do what we do.   We learn that our reasons should derive from conscious thought and logic as opposed to our emotions.   It is not wise to make emotional decisions.   If you have a good reason for doing something, you should have a good motive behind the reason that makes logical sense.   Ask your mate the question, what is your reason for choosing me?  When you ask that question, you are asking what is your motive for choosing me?  Their reason for choosing you matters and can help determine whether or not their intentions are good.  Then ask yourself, what’s your reason for choosing your mate?  Your reason matters as well and can determine how happy and content you will be in your relationship.  When couples ask themselves, what’s their reason for choosing their mate, it allows them to engage in critical thinking about the decisions that they make in life. 

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Often times, asking the question, what’s your reason, will require us to reveal somethings about ourselves that we may have overlooked, have not accepted, or are not yet willing to confront.  It can also help us know when we are making right decisions based on good reasoning.  We have to be honest with ourselves and our mate about what our reason is for choosing him/her.   What’s your reason?  Don’t be afraid to ask that question.  Don’t be afraid to answer that question.  It is an extremely important question to making sure that you are making the right decisions with your mate selection.  To assess whether or not your reason is a good one, ask yourself the questions, if you had to make the same decision again, would you choose differently? Why?  What’s your answers to those questions?  If you truly love the relationship that you are in, the answers should be easy and your responses should include more than just love.  If we’re lucky to live long enough, we realize that love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship.  So, what’s your reason?  Your answer to that question will determine whether or not you made the right relationship decision.  Prayerfully, the both of you made the right decision. If you are single, when you meet someone that you want to explore the relationship further ask yourself the same question, what’s your reason?  The answer to that question will help you decide if the relationship is worth pursuing.  What's Your Reason?

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By Lynnette Clement