The word of the Month is Character.  
 

Character is defined as a group of qualities that makes a person different from others.  Everyone is different; no one is exactly alike.  Our character is what make us unique human beings with individuality.  We should not adopt someone else’s character, we should always be our authentic, unique self.  Character is who you are when no one is watching.  Our character is developed the second we are born.  As our character develops, it can be both positively and negatively reinforced. 

 

Negative reinforcement is when you reinforce a negative behavior by the way in which you respond to the behavior.   For example, if a child cries to get you to buy a toy that you did not want to purchase and you purchase the toy anyway, you help to negatively reinforce the crying behavior.   The child could develop the character of entitlement and learn that if he/she cries, they will get what they want and therefore the crying behavior continues every time the child wants something from you.  A child learns how to interact with its parents to best get the intended outcome that he/she wants to achieve by crying as a form of communication.  As we get older, we learn that crying is not an effective form of communication for every situation.  The reason why the child is crying, will determine which character you are helping to shape by your response to the situation. 

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Another example of negative reinforcement would be, if you meet someone who is accustomed to getting their way, if you don’t comply with letting him/her get their way, he/she might avoid being friends with you unless you succumb to letting him/her have their way; thereby reinforcing their negative behavior.  If you want the negative behavior to stop, you have to change the way in which you respond to the negative behavior. Often times that means that we have to speak up about the inappropriateness of the negative behavior or remove ourselves from the situation, so that they can develop a better characteristic trait when he/she does not get his/her way. 

 

Positive reinforcement is when you reinforce good behavior by responding positively to good behavior.  For example, if someone achieves a goal and you give them verbal praise or reward, you increase the likelihood that the positive behavior will continue.  This helps to shape positive characteristics.  Positive behaviors are the characteristics that you want to reinforce.  We should not reinforce negative behaviors.  So, keep in mind that it is extremely important how we interact, react, and respond to others, because we help to shape the character of others.

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Our character can be influenced, it can be developed, it can be innate, and it can change over time, in either a good or bad way based upon our life experiences.  Character is what makes you, uniquely you.  People who are considered to have good character are usually those who are honest, trustworthy, loyal, have integrity, are kindhearted, and are positive.  People who are considered to have bad character are usually those who are dishonest, not trustworthy, mean, careless, and are negative.  Character is extremely important, because it is what defines you.  When you get to know someone personally, you will get to know his/her character.  Sometimes, people put on a façade pretending to be someone that they are not when they first meet someone.  However, over time, our true character cannot remain hidden.  We will eventually show who we truly are.  Good character is attractive.  Bad character is unattractive. 

 

Take an introspective look at yourself and think about your true character.  How would you define your character? Is it good or is it bad?  Be honest.  How would people that know you describe your character?  Is it the same description that you would use to describe your character?  We can be so many different things externally, but character is who we are at heart.  Character is who we are at the core.  Character is who we are internally.  Character is what makes up our personality.  Who are you at the core, not surface level, your inner self?   Having good character is so much better than merely having external good looks.   If your character is bad, it does not matter how good you look externally; bad character diminishes your beauty. 

 

None of us are perfect, however, we should all strive to have good character.  God designed us that way and somehow for some, they let the world and its negative influences change their behavior….their character from good to bad.  We have to get back to doing what’s good.   We have to get back to caring about our behaviors; caring about our character.  We have to get back to being of good character.  It’s never too late to do what’s good and what’s right.  It takes work on your part, but it’s never too late to develop good character.

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Click Here to Watch the audio version 

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By Lynnette Clement