SELECT YOUR LANGUAGE

The Empowering word of the month for October 2022 is Empower.  This word was inspired by the mental state of the youth and teens in Philadelphia and beyond, because I feel like some of their poor decision-making skills are a result from the lack of self-love, self-worth, and empowerment.  All of those things are taught first in the home by parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, elders, sisters, guardians, brothers, and cousins.  Then taught by the village that includes: teachers, coaches, mentors, pastors, and friends.  Every chance you get, empower the children that you encounter, not just your own children, empower them to have a good sense of self-love and self-worth.   Use encouraging words that uplift their spirits and help them believe in themselves.  Help them believe that there is life beyond their circumstances. 

 

Motivate them to want more from life and to dream beyond their environment.  Encourage them to dream beyond the four walls of their school.  Empower them to dream beyond the aspirations of their friends and family.  Empower them so much that they value human life.  Empower them by your example of what a good role model should look like.   Help them grow from hopeless to hopeful.  Share your own testimony, so that they know what is possible for them.   Empower them to throw away the stereotypical measuring stick that society places on people who come from certain environments.  Let them know that despite their upbringing and whether or not they lived with both parents, good parents, bad parents, or bad role models they can still be successful, productive citizens.   

 

Even if they grew up in a toxic environment, they do not have to look up to people with the fast money, fast cars, who didn't get them from making an honest legal living, they don’t have to be followers of evil doers.   Empower them to live a life without guns, and senseless gun violence.  Tell and show them that they are loved, and they matter.  Show them that they are not invisible and that you care about their safety and well-being.  Let them know that they are not crazy.   They are not lazy.  They are not dumb.  They are not worthless.  They are not bad.  They are not unloved.  They are not followers.  They are human beings, who deserve to be treated as such.  They have value and something positive to share with the world.  They are not what they’ve been through.

​

To be able to lift other people up and empower them, you first have to be empowered as well.  So, I encourage you to do the work for yourself to be empowered. Be the person that you needed as a child.  Be the parent or guardian that you needed.  Parents and guardians, ask yourself, “Do I empower my children by what I say to them or what I do to and for them?”  Material things might make them feel good but can be quite costly and children will learn to value material things and not themselves. 

 

When you teach your children to value material things, they are never satisfied because there will always be another new trend that they want to keep up with.  You have to ask yourself, “Do those things make them love and value themselves?“  The answer will always be, “no.”  Children need to feel loved and valued, so that they can love and value themselves and not things.  There are simply some things that money can't buy.  Money cannot buy real, from the heart, words of encouragement.  As the saying goes, “People will not always remember what you did for them, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Ask yourself, “How are you making your children feel by your actions and your words?”  Let’s get back to love and empowerment, so that our youth can put down the guns and pick up a book.  Let’s get back to loving and empowering children, so they can play basketball without being afraid that someone will start shooting on the basketball court.   

 

Our youth and teens are dying at a young age.   We have to teach our children better conflict resolution strategies and how to pick better friends to hang out with.  We have to do our part as parents and guardians first, before we look out into the community and wonder what everyone else is doing to help raise your children.   Yes, it takes a village to raise a child, however, the village starts in the home, in the family, and then expands beyond.   As a parent or guardian there are certain things that you need to know, such as:  “Where are your children, physically and mentally?   What are they doing with their free time?  Who are their friends?  What are their hobbies and interests?  How are they doing in school?  What are they posting on social media?  Who are they communicating with on social media and on the phone?  Do you follow them on social media?  What is their curfew that you enforce? 

​

Enough of the talk about what is the Mayor doing about the gun violence prevention, what are nonprofits doing about the gun violence prevention, and what are police doing about gun violence prevention?  Now, is the time for you to ask yourself, as a parent or guardian, “What am I doing?,”  especially if you know your child is engaging in a life of crime and violence.  We have to start being better parents/guardians, so that our children can be and do better.  We have to give them a fighting chance in the world.  We have to give them hope for a brighter future.   

 

Being a good parent doesn't mean that you give your child everything that they want.  Being a good parent is giving your child everything that they need to be a good person with or without your presence.   Empower your children with your words or positive affirmations.  Equip them with real tools that they will need to be successful in life with or without you.  Sometimes, parents don't get to do parenting over with their own children if they don't live long enough. If you are blessed enough to still have your child alive and well, empower them.  Show up for them when they need you.  Be consistent.  Be a constant presence in their lives. don't put your responsibilities of parenting on to someone else.  Ask them, "How is your day?   How was school?  What did you learn in school?"  Go to the parent/ teacher meetings?  Look at their report cards and reward them when they get good grades.  Get them a tutor at school when they fall behind or struggle with content.  Don’t show favoritism if you have multiple children.  Applaud them and acknowledge them for good behavior.  Hug them and tell them that you love them even when they think they're too old for hugs. 

 

Think about all the things that you wished you had or that you wish your parents did or said to you when you were growing up.  This is your chance to make that right with your own child.  Give them what you wished your parents gave to you and watch them give it back to you when you get older.  Your children need to look up to you, not celebrities, not drug dealers, not the neighbors, other families, they need to look up to their mother and father or guardians.  So, be mindful of how you live your life.  Be mindful of how you treat your children.  Be mindful of how you talk to your children.  There is power in your tongue to empower children, so that they can be good and decent people. 

 

If you overly chastise your child, they're going to go out in this world with hostility, anger, suffering from depression, and usually engage in bullying, gun violence and crime.  Teach your children whatever they need to be successful.  We need to take our children from the streets.   We're losing too many of them, so I challenge you today to let your children know that there is a better way of living.  There is a higher power greater than you.  You can do great things. Empower them to be great.  I also empower you to be great as well!

​

By Lynnette Clement