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The Empowering word of the month for March 2023 is Support.

 

In any relationship, the most important things are: love, communication, trust, respect, intimacy, and support.  All of these things must be done, the right way.  Each person might have a different definition of what the "right way" looks like for them.  In relationships, love can be defined differently, based on each person's love language, which determines how they give and receive love.  Each person might also have different ways to communicate as well.  Trust is something that is given, until after you lose it; after you lose trust, it must be earned.  Respect is a way of honoring your mate by the way you talk to him/her and by the way you treat him/her. Intimacy, is the close connection shared between you and your mate (on all levels).  Support could also be defined differently as well. 

 

For the purpose of this article, the types of support that I am referring to consists of all types of support.  I am not specifically talking about financially, even though that is one type of support.  The types of support that I am referring to are: being there physically for your mate, showing him/her that you believe in them and in their hopes and dreams, helping them accomplish tasks, encouraging them to be better, building with them, showing up for important events/holidays, listening to him/her when they need someone to talk to, helping them financially when you are capable of doing so, showing him/her that they can count on you when they need you, splitting up the household chores and financial responsibilities, cheering them on when they do well, and motivating them to feel better when things are not going well.  These are the types of support that are needed in relationships.

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Communicate with your mate about the types of support that you need from him/her.  When your mate shows you that they need your support, be there for them in whatever capacity you are capable of.  When your mate knows that he/she can depend on you to be there for them, they feel safe with you. It also puts their mind at ease when faced with challenging situations.  It helps them get through challenging situations.  When a person can count on you to be there for them, they need and value your presence in their life.

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One important thing to note is that, support is not about using each other for your own personal gain.  Support is about being there for each other.  If your mate comes to you and asks you to help them financially, and you are capable of doing so, but you are reluctant to provide such support, think about how you can support him/her in a different way that might be just as beneficial. For example, if your mate asks you for money and you are reluctant to provide what he/she is asking for, but the two of you previously talked about starting a business venture that you said you would pay him/her for their services, this would be the perfect time to begin that business venture so that you can pay him/her for their services to show some form of support. Remember, some support is better than no support at all.   No one wants to be with anyone, they cannot count on in good and bad times.  If you leave them in the same situation that they were in before they asked for your support, it will show them how little he/she matters to you.

 

Keep in mind, that each person in the relationship can have challenges that they encounter that could prevent them from being able to provide the needed support at all times.  However, always strategize about alternative ways to be supportive that will help your mate get closer to goal achievement.  Doing nothing to support your mate, could lead your mate to finding someone else to lean on or could end your relationship.  Your support means a lot to your mate and again, I am not only referring to financial support. 

 

Support your mate, like you want him/her to support you. If your mate needs your support in other ways that are not financial (and they will), figure out a way to have enough balance in your life, so that you can be there for your mate when he/she needs you physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally as well.  Support is about helping to meet a need that becomes bigger than the person facing that need.  Your mate needs to know that you will not let them fail.  Support each other.  Supporting each other, is important in any relationship.  Show your mate that he/she can count on you.

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By Lynnette Clement

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