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In these trying times, relationships have been put to the test to determine if the relationship will last long-term or end in the midst of difficulty and change.  One of the ways that the strength of the relationship is tested is by exposing the people in the relationship to stressors.  How we problem solve, handle conflict, and make decisions will determine how we deal with stressors.  There are many different factors that can cause a strain on relationships.  The Covid-19 pandemic is one of the factors that put a strain on many relationships and as a result some relationships have ended.  During the pandemic, couples were forced to spend more time with one another, they had to avoid going out as often as he/she would like, and some have experienced a loss of income after losing their job.  All of those things can change the dynamic of your relationship and create a shift in the pattern or routine that you and your mate may have grown accustomed to and could produce stress.  How well you and your mate can handle stressful situations, will determine the sustainability of your relationship. 

 

With the everchanging world around us, we have to learn how to be flexible with adapting our lives to new and different situations.  We have to learn how to handle stressors in a better way, so that when stressors occur (and they will), we can get through them together.   For any relationship to not be negatively impacted by stressors (job, family, children, relationship issues, financial, etc.), WE have to create a solid relationship with the foundation of friendship, having a supportive balance, open, honest and transparent communication, mutual respect, empathy, and unconditional love.  If your relationship is good and healthy, it should be able to overcome stressors. 

 

Can your relationship withstand the stressors?  During the pandemic, a lot of relationships and marriages ended and many people believe that the reason it ended is because of the stressors that occurred from the pandemic (quarantine, illnesses, death, job loss, mood changes, etc.).  However, a good, healthy and loving relationship that was without problems prior to the pandemic, should be able to at least hold on to the possibility that those good times will come again. 

 

Perhaps, there are other underlying reasons that could cause the relationship to end.  If your relationship ended, I strongly encourage you to have an open, transparent and honest conversation with your ex and ask him/her to be honest with you about the real reason why your relationship ended.  By now, I think all of us know that usually a relationship is over well before it officially comes to an end.  So, be open to listening without defending yourself, when your ex is honest with you about why your relationship ended.  This information will be extremely helpful to your personal growth and the healing that you will need to do before you embark on your next relationship, as well as learning how to handle stressors in a more positive way. If you let the stressors change your good personality and who you are, this too can cause your relationship to end. 

 

If uncontrollable stressors like the pandemic can break your relationship, something in the relationship was already broken.  If you truly love one another and want to be together, don't let the stressors of life cause your relationship to end.  Deal with the real issues in the relationship and work towards resolving them, if possible, and learn how to deal with stressors in a better way.

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By Lynnette Clement

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