SELECT YOUR LANGUAGE

People tend to view others how they view themselves, and their perception of others is not always accurate.  How one thinks, is usually how they formulate their thoughts and opinions about others. Sometimes, people formulate their opinions of you, based upon how they are.  You’ll find this to be true when you give people advice.  When giving advice, some people will assume that you are trying to tell them what to do or that you are trying to control them, even if he/she asked you for your advice.  People who assume that you are trying to control them, are usually the type of people who are always telling other people what to do (controlling).  When people give you advice, know that everyone is not trying to control you or trying to tell you what to do with your life.  When people give advice, some people are merely offering you suggestions for alternative options about your dilemma that you still have the control to choose whether or not to listen to the advice.  You should always look at the fact that you are the person who asked for their advice and some people are merely trying to help you figure things out, not control you.  Nevertheless, when you ask for advice, you always have to consider the source and where their advice is coming from.  Make sure the information is coming from a place of love and not judgment, jealousy, anger or hatred.  What you do with the information that you are given, is solely up to you. 

 

A lot of people are misunderstood and misjudged, because some people have opinions of others based upon their own theologies.  If you don’t trust the person that you are asking to get advice from, stop asking him/her for advice, especially if you think he/she is trying to control you.

Make sure that your opinion of someone else is not based upon how that person behaved in the past.  As we mature into adulthood, people tend to change the way that they act and think.  During the maturation process, some people will try to hold you captive to your past, without fully getting to know the person that you have become today.  And, they might not be around you enough to know that there is a difference in your behavior.  If they are around you enough to see that you’ve matured, some might think that the mature you is fake (not authentic), especially if they haven’t matured themselves. When people change, we have to delete from our mind what we think about the old version of their behaviors from their past; that person expired. Instead of viewing people how they were in the past, view him/her as the person he/she is today and don’t add any of your own biases to describe their character.  When you add your own biased opinions of people, this is why some people feel misunderstood.

People can and do change.  Just think about that friend or family member who was an alcoholic or on drugs and they stopped consuming those substances and have now become a minister or a motivational speaker.  It is unfair for you to judge them on their past mistakes and assume that he/she is pretending to be someone that they are not (fake).  Instead, thank and praise God for their deliverance from drugs and alcoholism, and that they are doing better.  Don’t think that people can’t change, just because you might not have.  People can change.  However, they have to want to change.  It is unfair of you to put the wrong “tags” on someone else, because of how you are or because of how the person or people behaved in the past.  When people evolve to be better and do better, don’t look at their evolution as fake.  He/she took the limitations off and changed their limited way of thinking, they wanted more for themselves, and you should too. 

​

For everyone who feels that they are misunderstood, that feeling is not your fault, so don’t spend your time trying to convince anyone that you are not the person that someone else might label you as.  It is not your fault when others cannot see outside of their own box.   Just be unapologetically you and don’t worry about a few people who cannot accept the new and improved you.  Take the negative connotation off of the word “misunderstood.”  It actually isn’t you who is misunderstood; it’s the distorted thinking and the misconception of who others might think you are.  You know who you are.  God knows who you are, and that’s all that really matters.  Stop caring about what other people think about you.  I know that is not an easy thing to do, because most people want to be understood. 

 

Honestly, we are not going to always understand everyone that we come in contact with.  The truth is, everybody is not going to understand you and that’s not your fault.  All of us are individually responsible for the labels of judgment and misjudgment that we place on ourselves, as well as the biased labels we place onto others.  We shouldn’t judge the “misunderstood.” After all, I’m sure that there is something about ALL of us that some people won’t understand. I guess we're all misunderstood and that's okay. Learning is always by design.

 

​

By Bryce Thompson

​

​