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Healing is one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself and others.  Your happiness is in your healing.  And, this is why healing is so important.  Despite what life challenges you with, you can heal, if you truly want to heal.  You have to want to feel better about your circumstances and about your life.  You have to shift your mindset from victim to victor,  by transforming a negative thought into a positive thought.  For example:  Transform, I was mistreated and that is why I am angry and depressed all the time (negative mindset) to I know how to treat people better, now that I know what mistreatment feels like (positive mindset).

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Healing, much like forgiveness, is a process.  To heal, you have to also learn how to forgive.  Some wounds cut deep, so it will take time to heal, but you can heal, if you work towards healing.  To work towards healing, You have to first ask yourself, what do I need to make myself feel better?  What healthy choices can I make that will help me escape from this mental prison?   How can I transform my way of thinking from pessimism to optimism?  If you truly want to be happy, it is you who hold the key to your happiness.  If you truly want to be happy, you have to heal from whatever or whomever is contributing to your unhappiness.   Even if that means that you have to talk with a professional counselor or life coach who can help you learn the strategies needed to work towards healing.  

 

In life, we do not have control over the cards that we are dealt.  But, you do control what you do with the cards that you are dealt and how you play the game of life.  For example, think about playing the game of spades.  You don’t have control over the dealer and what cards the dealer gives you.  However, you can control how you play the game.  Why are some of us less optimistic about how we navigate through life, than we are when playing the game of Spades?  Be just as optimistic about what you are capable of doing in your life, just like you are optimistic about having let’s say, seven and a possible in a Spades game.  Without seeing anyone else’s cards, what makes you believe that you have seven and a possible?  Use that same optimism in your life, when you can’t see or predict your future, but you know which direction you want it to go.  Have that same confidence like you are playing the game of spades, knowing that you can control how you navigate through life. 

 

You can heal.  If you are having challenges with healing, below I provide some suggestions to help you get started on your healing journey.  Know that sometimes during the healing process, your emotional state of mind will shift from both negative and positive states and some things that you may have suppressed could be brought back to the surface and trigger emotions that you have been trying to avoid.  Do not get stuck in those emotions, work towards getting past them; this is what the healing process is all about.  You have to be mentally ready for that part, so that you don’t revert back to being unhappy and/or give up on the process of healing.   In spite of the emotional triggers, if you keep working towards your healing, I promise you, you will get there.  You got this!

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To take the necessary steps towards healing, answer the following questions honestly:

 

1. What is causing me to be unhappy and why?  (Identify the source of your unhappiness and be honest about what and how you feel and/or experienced.  State why you still feel unhappy currently).

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2. How can I handle this experience of unhappiness in a healthy way, so that I can feel better? (State what makes you happy and what you need to be happy about your circumstances.)

 

3. What am I willing to do to contribute to my own happiness?  (Identify what you can do differently, overcome, and/or let go of).

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4. How can I maintain my happiness, so that I do not let anything impact my healing process? (State what you will do when challenges occur that could put you back into an unhappy place, mentally).

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5. What do I need to overcome today, so that I can begin to heal? (State what you are willing to do to make sure that you heal properly.  Identify what "obstacle(s)" are in your way of truly healing and what are you going to do to transform obstacles to better opportunities.  Identify who you need to forgive, even if that person is you).

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If you answer these questions honestly and take action to work towards your healing, you will be healed.  Know that healing is an inside job.  It is all about working towards having peace of mind.  Your peace of mind is your healing, which is another reason why healing is important. Who wants to walk around the world feeling like a victim, stressed, sad, or depressed all the time?  None of us should want that for ourselves.  Those feelings are not a part of having a good, quality life.   We should be willing to do what is necessary for our healing and mental sanity. 

 

Healing is not an automatic process, it doesn’t just happen with passing time.  Healing doesn’t take place without your own effort and action.  You should take action and do what is necessary for you to heal.  When you do not heal, you miss out on so much of the wonderful things that life has to offer on the other side of your through to get to your healing.  Don’t rob yourself of living life to the fullest.  Don’t rob yourself of happiness.  Don’t rob yourself of having peace of mind.  Don’t rob yourself of healing.  You cannot truly live, without healing. Do what you need to do to heal.  Don’t hold on to hurt, sadness or pain, when you have healing as an option.  And, all of us have healing as an option.  You matter, so choose healing.  Choosing to heal is you choosing to finally be happy and healthy.  Choose to heal, because choosing healing is choosing You.  Love Yourself Enough to Heal.

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By Lynnette Clement

 

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