Merriam-Webster defines, Journey as, “Something suggesting travel or passage from one place to another; an act or instance of traveling from one place to another.” I call life a journey, because we travel through it moving from one place to another mentally, physically and spiritually. It is a journey of ups and downs, peaks and valleys, highs and lows, trials and tribulations, through happy and sad times.  The journey is ours and no matter where life takes us, we have to continue to travel through the journey until we reach the end of our lives.  We never know what the journey will look like; we can try to plan things out, but sometimes our plan doesn’t always work the way that we would like it to.  The journey is about figuring things out along the way.  Not giving up when things do not go as planned, but getting out that map of alternatives routes to continue towards reaching your destiny.  Just like with a GPS, sometimes we have to do a route recalculation for the paths that we take.
 

The journey is the process from moving/traveling from one place/position in life to another.  The journey develops our character.  So, we have to be cognizant of how we handle the journey.  For some, the journey can be stressful and can develop a character that is depressed, mean, cold and aloof.  For others, the journey that is stressful can develop a character of wisdom, patience, empathy, and resilience.  For some, the journey can be pleasant and can develop a character that is ungrateful, high maintenance, victim syndrome, narcissistic, dependent, and selfish.  For others, the journey that is pleasant can develop a character of kindness, selflessness, joy, faith, and gratefulness.  How are you handling your journey?  How you handle your journey will determine what your character development is influenced by and how you perceive those things (positively or negatively).  How we think and behave is all a matter of perspective.  How we think about the experiences we encounter in life, will be the outcome of our character.  If we think negatively about our life experiences, we will exhibit negative behaviors.  If we think positively about our life experiences, we will exhibit positive behaviors. Our personality is developed from our experiences and how we think about those experiences.   For example, if we experience a painful situation in life, we could adapt a fearful personality and become cautious when engaging in situations that could possibly produce a painful outcome, even if it is only in our mind.  If we experience a joyful situation in life, we could adapt to repetitive, habitual behaviors to experience that same joy again. 

 

The journey for me wasn’t always easy and there were peaks and valleys along the way.  However, I can honestly say that today, I am happy with the character that I have developed as a result from my journey.  My journey consists of many things.  People can see you looking like you have it all together, but they do not know what it took for you to finally get to that place in life.  People can also assume that because you appear to be strong on the outside, that you don't still need help from others, even if it is just an encouraging word.  Through my journey, I was hurt by people, I was loved by people, I was betrayed by people, I was honored by people, I loss people, I met new people, I felt stuck in an unpleasant situation until I learned how to let go without feeling bad about letting go, I made mistakes, I learned from my mistakes what to do better, I was abandoned by people, I forgave people, I was neglected, I delayed achieving goals, I was taken advantage of, I took advantage of someone, I achieved my goals, I was broke, I was broken, I healed, I am healing, I was treated unfairly, I treated people unfairly, I was mean, I am much nicer, and all of these experiences shaped me into the person I am today.  I am nice, I am intelligent, I am faithful, I am happy, I am respectful, I am caring, I am a nurturer, I am kind-hearted, I am funny, I am fun, I am more patient that I used to be, I am talented, I am an entrepreneur, I am an asset, I am blessed, I am grateful, I am thankful, I am an encourager, I am inspiration, I am an awesome lover and true friend, and I credit all of this to God for helping me navigate through my journey. 

 

I can honestly say, that I didn’t always possess some of these characteristics.  And, I am still a work in progress.  One area that I am trying to work on is, I still have a difficult time feeling empathetic for people who get stuck dwelling in their bad experiences while in their journey and do not move forward to being, doing and feeling better, as well as those who go through bad experiences, because of their own bad choices.  I have a hard time feeling sorry for those people who do not learn from their mistakes.  I am trying to be more empathetic to knowing that often times, it takes some people longer to reach their "aha" moment than others, so they often have to experience the same painful situation over and over again, until they realize not to repeat poor decisions.  If you burn your finger the first time you place your hand over fire, there is a strong possibility that you will burn yourself again if you place your finger over fire again, so I’m like, just don’t place your finger over the fire, its not rocket science.  Nevertheless, I realize that some people will say, well, maybe if I put my finger on this side of the fire, instead of directly over top of the fire, like I did last time, maybe I won’t get burned….or maybe it will hurt less.  I don’t know what their thought process is, but I know I have a difficult time empathizing with these type of people.  I’m working on it though, because like I said, I’m starting to realize that it takes some people longer than others to finally “get it.”

 

Have you ever thought about how you are handling life's journey?   How do you handle bad things that happen to you in life?  How do you handle good things that happen to you in life?  What do you think about those things and how have they developed you into the person that you are today, whether good or bad?   Here is an activity for you to do to reflect on those questions to see how you are really handling your journey. Because, our journey and how we handle it will impact our relationships with others, it is important to take an inventory of our lives and how we deal with the "cards we are dealt."

Activity:   Write at least two paragraphs (consisting of at least five sentences each) about how you are handling your life journey.  You can approach this activity by describing either your life in its totality or a good or bad experience that you encountered in life that influenced your character development. 

 

Identify and describe the experiences that influenced the character of the person that you are today.  To help you generate ideas, describe your personality, i.e., friendly, mean, empathetic, distrusting, happy, sad, etc., and then next to each of your personality characteristics, describe a situation that influenced that character development.  Below are examples (these examples below are not real stories, but yours should be real stories):  Write your character first and then next to it, write what experience developed that character.

Example:

Distrusting – When I was seventeen, my boyfriend, whom I loved very much, cheated on me and I was so hurt.  I became aloof and cold, and did not want to talk to anyone.  I became withdrawn and did not trust anyone.  I was afraid to give my heart to anyone else for fear that they would hurt me.

​

Happy – When I was nineteen, I was accepted into the college that I wanted to attend and it was a happy time in my life.  When I went to college, I met new friends and I learned a lot from my professors.  I went on to be the first person in my family to graduate with a college degree and soon after I landed the job of my dreams, met the man of my dreams, we got married, had a daughter.  I could not imagine being this happy in all my life.  I am thankful to God that my life turned out this way.  We are happy people, who treat each other and those around us with love and care.  We couldn’t be happier and I think that everyone should experience such bliss.  

​

After you complete this activity, email it to us at LoveExquisiteMag@gmail.com if you are having a difficult time navigating through life's journey and want advice on how to develop better character through the journey, in effort to continue to work towards successfully achieving your life goals.  Include your first name and email address and I will respond to each of you with my suggestions and resources before next month, if you email them by December 25th.  I believe that all of us at times, need help navigating through life's journey.   If you decide not to email me, but you do need help, I encourage all of you to continue the activity listed above and if you list any negative characteristics for yourself, learn to develop strategies for turning negative behaviors to positive behaviors.  Learn from your journey and enjoy the journey, this will help you and your relationship!

​

By Lynnette Clement