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As we approach the end of the year and the start of a new one, approach your life experiences as lessons learned.  Lessons on what not to do and what to do better in and outside of your relationship.  Don’t focus on the goals you wanted to accomplish this year, but didn’t.  Focus on reaching your goals in the new year.   As long as you are alive, your goals and dreams do not have an expiration date.  No matter how hard it seems to achieve what you want in life; trust me, if you really want it, it’s worth it.  So, don’t give up on the process of doing what it takes to achieve your goals in life. 

 

If you have current relationship goals, or are seeking to entertain a new relationship, make sure that you do the work that will be required to maintaining a healthy relationship.  The work will require you to take a deeper dive into the core being of the person that you truly are.   Who are you?  Do you know who you are?  What type of person are you?  Are you relational?  Are you relatable?  Are you ready for everything that you say you want?   If you say you want a loyal relationship?  Can you give that same loyalty to your relationship?   Are you whole?  Or, are you incomplete looking for someone else to complete you….to fulfill you?  Two halves (people) cannot make a whole, but two whole people coming together to embark on a relationship will last much longer than two halves.   Work on being whole.  It’s Worth It!

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If you meet the person that you believe that you can have a serious relationship with, what will you do with that person when he/she arrives in your life?   There are a lot of extremely important questions to ask yourself as you embark on a new year and want to start anew.  In regard to relationships, most of us know what we want, but don’t always know what to do with it, when we get it.  We can think about what we want, but our thoughts don’t usually go beyond that original, “I want him/her” thought.   We should also think about whether or not, what we want is worth our time and effort by assessing the effort that he/she is putting into building a relationship with you.  We have to adequately prepare ourselves to be ready for everything that we want in life. 

 

Preparing yourself is worth it, because doing so will help you maintain what you want in life.  Therefore, it is worth “fixing” YOU, first.  It’s worth it.  No matter what you want for yourself in life, you have to be willing to make sacrifices, to be uncomfortable sometimes, to be selfless, do the work for the betterment of you and for the betterment of your relationship.  If you believe in it (what that is for you), if you believe in him/her then, it’s worth it.  It’s worth the effort and time that will be required of you to achieve your life and relationship goals.  If you don’t think it’s worth it, then why are you wasting your time on something or someone who is not worthy of you?

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In the last days of 2021, stop wasting time on things that don’t add value to your life. I want all of us to be reflective on our goals and how we spend our time to achieve them.  I want all of us to be reflective and take an introspective (internal) look at yourself; take inventory of your own behaviors, your actions, your words, and how you treat people that you have nothing to gain from and after that insightful introspective ask yourself…and be honest when you answer, Would You date someone like You?  The truth is, most of us have to work on healing from our traumas, so that we do not inflict the pain from our traumatic experiences onto someone else who has nothing to do with what caused your trauma. 

 

Unaddressed trauma will impact your relationships.  Healing you, is worth it. If your answer to the question, Would You date someone like You..is no, then you really need to work towards being a better person, until you are someone that you wouldn’t mind dating.  It’s worth it.  If you truly want to be happy with yourself and generally happy in life, you have to be okay with working on being a better you.  Trust me, It’s Worth It!

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By Lynnette Clement