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If I can be honest, a lot of people that you encounter have been hurt in a relationship or have been the person who has hurt someone else.  This hurt can cause you to either grow stronger and wiser, or make you fearful of giving and receiving love.  You could find yourself engaging in meaningless relationships in an effort to safeguard your heart from being hurt again.  When you do this, you will later find out that what you are really doing is hurting yourself, as well as others who might think that you actually like or care about them when you don't.  If you ever want a meaningful relationship, I encourage you to lean in.  

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What I am referring to when stating, "lean in," is to not be fearful of being hurt.  Hurt is an inevitable part of life.  No matter how much you try to avoid it, you cannot.  Yes, you can protect yourself from harm and danger.  But, never protect yourself from Love.  Love is something that everyone deserves at some point in life.  Even if you get hurt, if you live long enough to experience the fullness of life, you will know that you usually end up fine despite the hurt.  So, if you meet someone that you like, or are in a relationship with someone, lean in.

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Lean in to get to know the person you are with on a deeper level, and give him/her a fair chance to get to know you.  Don't live in the past, live in the present.  I've learned to live in moments, because life has taught me that some moments, you don't get back.  There was a time when I approached relationships, or the possibility of relationships with caution, because of past hurts. Because of my caution, I feel like I may have missed out on a lot of opportunities that could have changed the trajectory of my life for the better.  I don't beat myself up about those missed opportunities any more.  They are teachable moments on what to do better next time I meet someone worth the time and effort.  Instead of leading with "one foot in and one foot out," I am open to leaning in and I encourage you to do the same.

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Leaning in will require you to be open to being vulnerable.  Nevertheless, imagine how wonderful things could be if they actually worked out.  If you don't lean in, your behavior towards the person will make him/her feel that you are not interested in him/her, even when you are interested.  If you are guarded, you are not giving your best to the relationship.  If the person you are with demonstrates by actions that he/she is worth the risk...lean in.   If you don't lean in, you will eventually lose their interest in you to someone who is not afraid to lean in.  So, before it's too late...Lean in.  You usually never regret the safe risk you take.  You only regret the safe risk you didn't take, but wanted to.

 

With the right person, he/she makes you feel safe with them, so with him/her leaning in feels really good.  Live your life fulfilled and love again, and you can't do either until you Lean in.

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By Lynnette Clement