Doing things with Excellence is Not about being perfect.  Doing things with excellence is about putting 100% into the things that you do.  Just like finding someone perfect for you is different than finding perfection.  Perfection does not exist.  There will always be something about someone that you dislike, probably because that person is not you or because the person does things or says things differently than you do.  When we realize that perfection does not exist, we will stop looking for perfection in others.  Especially, when we do not exemplify perfection ourselves.  We are not perfect beings, no one is perfect.  If we want others to accept our imperfections, we have to be willing to accept others imperfections as well.  If there is something about a person that goes against your moral values and beliefs, that person is probably not the best person that will be compatible with you.  Instead of trying to change him/her to create them into the person that you want to be with, don’t even entertain the idea of a relationship from the start of introduction.  Keep looking for someone who is more compatible with you.  Your happiness and contentment are important.

 

We should never put someone else’s happiness before our own happiness.  A relationship is a dual commitment.  It is about the two of you, not just one person.  We shouldn’t have false expectations of how perfect people should be, we also shouldn’t compare people to one another.  If you find that you compare your current relationship to your past relationships in a negative way, keep in mind that your current relationship has nothing to do with your past relationship.  If you were happier in a previous relationship and refer to it as being perfect, perhaps you would have done whatever was required to stay with that person.  It is unfair to compare and if you have already moved on to someone else, do not hold them to the same expectations of perfection that someone else couldn’t meet because perfection does not exist. We tend to want what we never had, either because our parents did not love us the way that we needed to be loved or because we miss the way that someone else who is no longer with us loved us.  It is unfair to expect someone else to fill in the gaps that is a void that only you and God can fill.  You can expect someone to treat you right, but do not expect him/her to treat you like someone else treated you or should have treated you.  In effort to get what we want, we have to first know what we actually want.  Ask yourself the question, What am I truly looking for?  Then, ask yourself, Am I ready to receive what I am looking for?  The answer to those questions is important, because readiness and timing is extremely important aspects of whether or not the relationship will work long-term.  If you are not ready to receive what you have been looking for, when he/she arrives you will not be prepared enough for the relationship to be successful. 
 

We often go into relationships with false expectations and baggage from our past.  I had this conversation with a friend of mine who was in a relationship for over 30 years, is now single and is back on the dating scene with the expectation that the new mate is supposed to treat the relationship like her previous mate treated her.  I had to tell my friend that it is unfair to expect to build with the new mate in a year what it took the previous mate 30 years to build.  There is nothing wrong with wanting and requiring to be treated the right way.   However, we only set ourselves up for disappointment when we do not take the time to spend time with the new person so that you can get to know one another.  When we look to compare, we usually find something “wrong” with someone new.  The best thing that you could do for yourself as well as others is to know that if you are simply not ready to move on to a new relationship, don’t.  Heal first, so that you don’t ruin a potentially good relationship or friendship. Do not expect perfection.  That is the first step towards being able to move forward. 

 

Expect to meet someone some day that is Right for You, not anyone else and trust me, that person will not be perfect.  What’s Right for Me, is probably different than what’s Right for You, which proves why we also shouldn’t let other people influence our decisions about what is or who is Right for us.  You cannot let other people choose who or what is Right for you.    Knowing that perfection does not exist will put you at an advantage when you are in a relationship or seeking to find someone right for you. Finding someone Right for you, is perfect for you.  As long as the relationship is healthy, and the two of you are happy, that’s what really matters.  Accept that you are imperfect.  Accept that your mate is imperfect.  Accept that everyone that you meet will be imperfect.  Perfection does not exist, so find someone who is perfect for you, because that’s the person who is Right for You.  If you already have that person in your life, consider yourself blessed, treasure him/her and do not take that blessing for granted.  After all, I think we all know how difficult it is to find our Mr./Mrs. Right for Me.  If we do not expect perfection, we're halfway there.

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By Lynnette Clement