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Having mutual respect for your mate is important to maintaining a healthy relationship.  A statement that some people say is, “Respect is not given, it is earned.”  I think that statement is more applicable to when someone loses respect for someone that he/she had respect for.  If we have good manners and good moral ethics, we usually have respect for everyone, until they do or say something that causes us to lose respect for him/her.  In a relationship, respecting one another is extremely important.  When you respect your mate, you value him/her, you care about what matters to him/her, and you are more inclined to listen to what he/she has to say.  When you do not respect your mate, you treat him/her in a disrespectful way, you neglect their feelings, do not care about how they think or feel, and you basically do what you want to do when you want to do it, without regard for how your mate will feel about it.  When your mate loses respect for you, that is when you have to earn their respect. 

 

When you are disrespectful to your mate, it can cause your mate to become disrespectful to you as well, meaning ultimately you lose respect for each other. 

You can identify when someone does not have respect for you by how he/she talks to you and how he/she treats you. If you don’t give your mate the opportunity to regain your respect, after losing it, you will continue to disrespect your mate.   You can usually regain respect through open and honest communication about your rationale about the root cause of your behaviors.   When you understand the reason behind the behavior (and if it makes sense) you develop an empathy that can help to regain respect. First, you have to respect yourself and teach people how to treat you better. 

 

Don’t be okay with being disrespected.  Disrespect can break-up the relationship. It is better to have a mutual respect for one another and know that if you want to be respected, you must show your mate that you are respectful.  Respect each other enough to care about not just your own happiness, but your mates happiness as well.  You shouldn’t be with someone that you feel you have to disrespect in an effort to gain your self-respect, and you shouldn’t stay with someone who disrespects you.  Respect each other enough to treat your mate how you want to be treated.  Respect is not one-sided and relationships do not work well when the respect is not mutual. 

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By Lynnette Clement