Being a mature adult is important to achieving and maintaining a healthy relationship.  Has someone ever said to you, "You are so immature" or "You need to grow up?"  If so, how did you respond?  Did you confirm what they said by your reaction?  Maturation does not always come with age.  As we get older, for some of us, we tend to think that older means wiser.  However, maturation is developed by what we learn from our life experiences.  From our experiences, we begin to think differently and we behave differently (well at least we should).  As we mature from childhood to adolescents to adulthood, our thoughts and actions and reactions are usually quite different.  How we think about those life experiences and how we act upon those life experiences is what helps to determine our maturity level.  If we think that getting back (revenge) at someone for wrong doings is okay, then we have not matured. If we think that dating alot of people at the same time is okay, then we have not matured.  If we think that as adults, we do not have to work to make a living, then we have not matured.  If we think that insulting someone to make us feel better about ourselves is okay, then we have not matured.  If we let pride and ego get in the way of doing what we want or need to do, then we have not matured. Maturation causes you to "swallow" your pride. Maturation is everything.  It is much like communication, which is also everything. There is nothing worst than trying to communicate with someone who has not matured.  There has to be a shift in your mindset that causes you to think differently as you get older.  As the Bible states in First Corinthians 13:11, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I understood as a child, I thought like a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things."  To be mature means that you act and think as an intelligent, responsible adult. 

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You hear the saying, "Old fools, used to be young fools," which means that we did foolish things at a young age, that we are still doing at our current age, because we have not learned from those experiences.  To make it plain, this saying means, we tend to make the same mistakes that we made before we became adults. Maturation is what helps prevent us from making those same mistakes that we made as children or young adults.   Maturation is not automatic and it takes work on our part to be able to embrace and develop it.  Maturation is what teaches us how to govern our thoughts, reactions and behaviors. If you are an adult, who is not mature (and it has nothing to do with your age as an adult; it has to do with how you think and behave), below are some ways to help you develop into a mature adult:
 

1. We first have to hold ourselves accountable and take full responsibility for our own actions/behaviors. 

 

2. We have to learn how to practice self-control.

 

3. We also have to respect others and treat people how we want to be treated. 

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4. We have to listen more and talk less, when necessary.

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5. We have to say what we mean, and mean what we say.
 

6. We have to be genuine about how we feel and what we want and need.

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7.  We have to learn how to "take the high road;" be the bigger person in a conflict situation.

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8. We have to keep an open-mind, knowing that you are not always right.

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9. We have to learn to Forgive.

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10. We have to Think before we do anything (speak, react, or take action).

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Follow these steps and you will be well on your way to maturation.  You will see that being mature is what's best for any relationship to work long-term.  See you at the top!

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By Lynnette Clement

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