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Practicing patience requires emotional intelligence, being aware of your emotions, feelings, understanding them, and learning how to control your emotions. It takes constant practice, because as life events happen, there will be things that occur that can test your patience. For most people who are impatient, it usually has to do with the need to know the when, how, why, or what of something, and usually has to do with a resistance to losing control, as well as a lack of trusting that things usually work out in the end.

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Practicing patience requires mental maturity and knowing that there are some things beyond your ability to predict or control. It also requires you to know and accept that everyone is different, and we don’t always think and do things the same way. Instead of losing patience with people, because they don’t say or do things the same way that you do, practice patience and not judgment (despite what you view as right, wrong or indifferent).

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Patience is something that develops over time through mental maturity and consistent practice. In regard to waiting for something to happen, Patience requires a period of time, and being comfortable during that timeframe of waiting. When dealing with people who test your patience, because you cannot control others, ask yourself, Why am I allowing someone else to control my emotions and/or mental state of mind? What can I do to practice patience without being reactive to the situation?

 

When practicing patience, my motto is to follow what I refer to as the Three P’s: Pause, Process, and Proceed.

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1. Pause to take a deep breath, and reflect on the present moment and how to respond to it with positivity. Respond to the problem, not the person. When you pause you can prevent yourself from being reactive, or overreacting to the situation.

 

2. Process to think about the root cause of the problem, and ask questions for clarity to make sure that you understand the situation. Ask questions like: Just to make sure that things are clear, what exactly do you mean? How would you like me to respond to this situation? Tell the person/people how you interpreted what is being said or done and let them know how it made you feel.

 

3. Proceed by responding out of a place of love, compassion, and with a resolution focused mindset. Be solution-focused, not problem-focused. Think about how the situation can be resolved and work towards eliminating the problem.

 

Practicing the 3 P’s is not always easy, especially when you are right in the middle of a situation that tests your patience. Most things sound good in theory, applying practice is usually the challenging part. Before responding to any situation or person, ask yourself the following questions:

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- Is the situation that important, serious, or detrimental to me?

- Will my response, produce a good outcome?

- How should I approach the person/people or situation in a manner that will help the person or people be more receptive to resolving the situation?

Patience is something that you must work on daily. Things that might help you practice patience are:

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-Recognizing your triggers.

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-Focus on what you can control.

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-Walk away when you can.

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-Think with your purpose in mind.

 

-When you are impatient, ask yourself: What is the point that I am trying to get across, or what message am I trying to convey, and for what purpose? What is the outcome that I am trying to produce in the situation?

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-Ask yourself, why does what someone else do or say upset or frustrate me so much?

 

-Practice the three P’s (pause, process, proceed) to avoid being reactive. If we expect others to be patient with us, we must extend that same grace to others. It is important to practice patience, because being patient can bring YOU peace of mind.

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By Lynnette Clement