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In every relationship, men and women want to feel, Safe.  Safe emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. If you don't feel safe with your partner, you are hesitant to share yourself with them, fully. There is a part of you that you hold back, when you don't feel safe.  We need emotional safety to help us feel comfortable with communicating our needs and expressions of love, likes and dislikes to one another.  We need to feel that our heart is safe with you.  If we don't, we are afraid to give you our heart, because we don't trust that you will take care of it.

We need to feel safe mentally, to help us feel that even when we are a bit unstable mentally, because we may become overwhelmed by the trials and tribulations of life, we need to know that we are not crazy, and that you are there for us, when we are not always our best self. We are human and it is okay to have human experiences without judgment. 

We need spiritual safety to feel that God-like kind of love for one another, and a belief system that is unwavering, not condescending, or disrespectful. It is an uncontrollable, magnetizing, undeniable spiritual connection that only believers of God can create and embrace without fear.  In relationships, we want to feel safe with you. 

We need physical safety, to feel protected by you. Protected to the point where we know that you will not harm us in anyway.  You will protect us from being harmed. 

For a relationship to work long-term, we need to feel safe with you. If you are a liar, we don't feel safe.  If you are a cheater, we don't feel safe.  If you are inconsistent, we don't feel safe.  If we cannot trust you, we don't feel safe.  If you communicate on an immature level, we don't feel safe. If you are always defensive, we don't feel safe.  If we have to question, how you feel about us, we don't feel safe.  If we cannot be vulnerable with you, we don't feel safe.  If we cannot depend on you to be there when we need you most, we don't feel safe.  If we can't trust that you will honor your word, we don't feel safe.  When you don't feel safe, you don't show up in your relationship as your best self.  You don't love the way that you would love someone with whom you feel safe with.  It's hard to walk away from safety, but it's easy to walk away from someone that you don't feel safe with.  

We usually don't want much from our partner.  I know that in a partner, I want things that money can't buy.  I need love, time, compatibility, intimacy, respect, open communication, support, mental maturity, selflessness, and safety.  Everyone wants to feel safe in their relationships.  Your partner wants to feel safe with you.  If you care about your mate, make sure you make them feel safe with you.

By Lynnette Clement