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LEARNING BY DESIGN
BROKENNESS

All of us have something “broken" within us that needs to be fixed.  Your brokenness is revealed by your mood, attitude towards life, how you speak to others, how you treat yourself, and how you treat others. Despite how much you might try to cover up your brokenness, it is always revealed by your words and actions.  Some examples of how people usually reveal their brokenness are:  

If you are someone who crave likes and attention, it is probably because love and attention is what is (or was) lacking in your home (Broken in the area of self-love)

 

If you are someone who flashes wealth, it is usually because you measure your self-worth by the “things” you have and what you do, and/or you compare yourself to someone else.  Who are you trying to convince of your self-worth, when the only person who really need to be convinced is you?  (Broken in the area of self-worth).

If you are someone who talks bad about others, it is usually because of your own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy and talking about others, takes the spotlight off of you, dealing with you  (Broken in the area of feelings of inadequacy).
 

If you meet someone for the first time, and you make the assumption that they are going to hurt you and you know nothing about them, it is usually because you have been hurt or let down by someone else from your past.  Stop waiting for the “ball to drop,” and engaging in self-sabotaging your relationships, because you are afraid that the person will not like you as much as you like them or because you are afraid to get hurt.  Get to know the person on a personal level, before you judge them, based on who you are, or based on your past experiences  (Broken in the area of the condition of your heart; fear; heartbroken).

If you are someone who gets upset when your friends and family don’t Always support you and find yourself saying that you are not going to support them, because they are not always there for you.  It is usually because someone that you are significantly close to is not always supportive of you, so instead of holding that person accountable (he/she is someone you usually don’t want to be mad at, therefore you give him/her a “pass”), however, you project your disappointment of that person onto everyone else.  Don’t let your emotions make you forget about all the times your family and friends did support you and be mature enough to know that they are not always going to be able to be there, but that doesn’t mean that they love you any less  (Broken in the area of disappointment; emotional immaturity).  

If you are easily angered and combative when someone disagrees with you, it is usually because you are use to people not disagreeing with you, not because you are always right, but because they might not feel like the argument that will ensue, or because you might feel incompetent or someone told you that you are not intelligent. When someone disagrees with you, you feel less intelligent and get defensive trying to demonstrate that you are smart and try to coerce others to think the same way that you do.  (Brokenness in the area of feeling less than intelligent).  

If you are a person who thinks everyone should like you and be a part of your life, and you go out of your way trying to make people like you and be a part of your life, even though some people show you that they don’t like you and don’t want to be a part of your life,  it is usually because someone close to you that you care about left you either by death, or by choice and as a result you feel that when people leave you, don’t like you or don’t want to be a part of your life, you take it extremely personal as if they are abandoning you  (Brokenness in the area of feelings of neglect and abandonment).

If we can be honest with ourselves, we know that All of these things have to do with being broken.  The reason that we know that they are areas of brokenness, is because there are better ways to deal with each of these situations, but your brokenness always brings out the worst in you and will interfere with you being able to deal with things in a much better way.

Brokenness is where your areas of deficiencies are within you.  These deficiencies were caused by either your own self-doubt, or caused by what someone else did to you that made you feel less than, or what someone said about you and you believed them.  Sometimes, people can identify your brokenness and use it as a way to manipulate you.  So, be careful of what you are indirectly or directly revealing about yourself, especially for the world to see.  For example, If you believe that you are unattractive, and you meet someone who you are not attracted to, but he/she compliments you regularly and convinces you that you are the most beautiful person on earth, they are speaking to your brokenness.  And, what usually occurs thereafter, is you begin to look at that person from the lens of your brokenness and could start being attracted to him/her because that’s a feeling you’ve been longing to feel.   We have to be honest and sensitive about our areas of brokenness, so that we do not allow ourselves to be manipulated when the wrong person speaks to our brokenness. 

 

We also do not want to let our brokenness manipulate us into believing negative things about ourselves or someone else, when we do not have any Factual evidence of proof that what we think is true.  Despite your past experiences, or current situation, never let the emotions from your brokenness overshadow your intelligence, because when you do, you reveal your brokenness.  It could be your heart, it could be your self-esteem, it could be your mental state of mind, it could be your finances, it could be your family dynamic, it could be your intimate relationship, it could be your job situation, or it could be your friendships that are broken.  And, what you say and do reveals which of these are areas of brokenness. 

 

The revealing of your brokenness usually occurs in a social media posts, in your conversations with others, in the way in which you care about yourself (or the lack thereof), in the way in which you dress, think, and behave, and in the way in which you treat others.  What areas of brokenness are you revealing about yourself through what you post on your social media pages?  What areas of your brokenness are you revealing based on how you make assumptions about people that you don’t know anything about?   What areas of your brokenness are you revealing by how you communicate with others?  What areas of your brokenness are you revealing when you always have to find a negative in a positive situation?  What areas of your brokenness are you revealing without even knowing that your brokenness is being exposed (on display)? 

 

Don’t let your brokenness overshadow you.  When people see you, let them see you, not your brokenness. Heal, so that you can become whole.  Speak victory over your situation.  Think positive about who you are.  Build your own self-efficacy, and self-worth, so that you don’t crave validation from other people. Stop “Stinking Thinking” about things that you can’t prove to be true.  Be kind to yourself.  Love yourself.  Love others. Speak kind words of encouragement to yourself.  Put the pieces of your life back together.  Heal from whatever caused your brokenness. 

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.”  Proverbs 16:24 (KJV)

By Lynnette Clement

Missing Piece
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