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As we engage in any type of relationship, we are faced with the challenge of learning how to understand the communication styles of others, as well as how to understand their thinking process in an effort to better understand the person that we encounter.  There are times when we can be so strong in our stance on how and what we think and believe that we do not consider a different perspective.   We have to understand that when someone does not think or process information in the same way that we do, it is important to not be reactive to what the other person is trying to communicate.  

Do not assume the meaning of what the other person is saying, from your own view point; instead ask questions for clarity or ask the person, "So, what I am hearing you say is....' and state how you interpreted their message.  Doing so will give the opportunity to the person that you are communicating with to provide clarity and inform you of what the meaning of his/her message is, so that you don't have to guess or assume.

It is good to get a different perspective on your thoughts and ideas, especially in regard to getting a male and a female perspective, or a child versus and adult's perspective on the same topic or idea. This is important, because we do not all proces information the same way, and we do not always have an understanding of what some words mean.  Having a different perspective does not mean that what you think or believe is wrong or right, it is just different.  Sometimes, we have to think outside of the box.  

Even the Bible states to, "Lean not to your own understanding."  Our understanding is usually based on our own perception, and our perception is based on our own personal life experiences.  Because, most of us do not have the same life experiences nor handle those experiences in the same way, it is important that we do not assume that someone else should interpret and process information the same way that we do.  

Information can be misinterpreted, based on how we perceive and process information.  When we do not understand someone, it is a learning and teachable moment.  It is a learning and teachable moment, because in that moment of misunderstanding, it will help you learn how to pay attention to what is being said, and ask questions to get an understanding of where the break down in communication is.  Then, you can work together to get a better understanding of each others thought processes.

Getting another persons point of view can help you become more understanding and empathetic.  Even if we do not want to admit it, men and women process and understand information in different ways.  The communication style of men might be viewed differently than the communication style of women.  Men are said to be short and to the point, and a bit more frustrated when they do not like or understand what is being communicated; while women are said to be more elaborative and long winded, when communicating.  

Of course this does not apply to all men and women. However, the point is that each person you meet could have a different perspective on any situation that you are facing right now.  Take in the feedback that you find useful and discard the information that is useless.  

Know that just because someone has a different perspective than you do, does not make their perspective wrong.  Instead of trying to debate when we do not agree with someone, we should work just as hard to understand their perspective so that we can learn how to better communicate with one another.  It is okay to have a different perspective.  It can teach you a lot about yourself, as well as a new way of learning and growing.  

We need to learn how to get along, even in our disagreements with one another.  Men and women need to learn how to co-exist in a world that is already cruel enough.  In your relationships, work together, not against each other.  Learn how to communicate better with one another, and treat each other with the same respect that you expect, even when you have a difference of perspective.

By Lynnette Clement