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In life, men and women tend to let pain lead them into doing the wrong things.  When you experience a painful situation, sometimes, that situation can change your behaviors, as well as your mindset.  When I discuss the word pain, in this context, I am referring to what you may experience when someone you care or cared about does something that hurts you and that hurt is referred to as pain (i.e., a verbal insult or derogatory statement, physical or personal attack, causing mental anguish, hurts your feelings causing emotional stress or trauma/pain, etc.)  When we are hurting emotionally, we do not always make the best decisions.  We tend to be more reactive to situations and act on impulse versus critical thinking; only to later regret decisions made after a painful situation. 

 

If you were in a bad relationship and blame yourself for a break up that wasn’t your fault, you might find yourself asking yourself, “What did I do wrong?  What can I do differently next time.”  Then, the next time you are in a relationship, you might spend your time trying to be someone that you are not to appease the new person that you are with by doing what you may have never done before thinking that it would make the relationship last or make the new person treat you better than your previous relationship.  Let how the person you are with treats you, guide your decision making skills on how to treat him/her, do not let your pain lead you. 

 

When you are lead by your emotions, you could find that you often overreact, underreact, or do or say something that could be viewed as stupid or immature.  If you are hurt by someone in your past, it could cause you to close yourself off from allowing someone new to love or get close to you, because of your fear of being hurt again.  Doing so, is an example of letting your pain lead you.  Because, everyone is different and everyone is not always out to intentionally hurt you, do not let pain lead you.  Instead, let pain teach you.  Let your pain teach you how to heal and grow from the situation/circumstance, so that you come out a better person thereafter.   

 

Take your emotions out of the situation, and think critically about your decisions.  Ask yourself, What is the end result that you hope for and how can you achieve that end result?  Make sure that what you go through in life, doesn’t change you if you are already a good person, with a good heart, and good intentions.  You cannot control the thought process or behavior of others, but you can control how you think and behave.  Don’t let your pain lead you.

If you are hurt by someone you care or cared about, instead of saying, I’m never going to love again nor be faithful again; say, I am going to take my time getting to know the next person that I am with and look at him/her from a clear lens, now that I have learned how every decision I make matters.  Ask God for the spirit of discernment, so that you can identify who is good for and to you, and who you should walk away from, so that he/she can learn to appreciate the opportunity they missed out on, and will also learn how to make better decisions in his/her life as well.  Your pain can lead you down the wrong path and could cause you to do things that are not beneficial to your safety, sanity, and well-being. So, please make sure that you heal from your pain, before making any decisions that could change your life forever.  

 

Think about the decisions that you have made in your life.  Think about the decisions that you are currently making now regarding your life and how you live it.  Are you letting your pain lead you?  Do you make decisions based on your emotional state of being?   Are the decisions that you make producing the outcomes that you hope for?  Are you satisfied and content with your life decisions?  Take a moment to think about it and answer those questions honestly.  If you let your pain lead you, you could be making the biggest mistakes in your life.  No matter how painful life is for you, learn from the lessons that life is trying to teach you. 

 

In your anger, rage, frustration, hurt, pain, trauma, fear, emotional instability, immature mindset, and impatience that could result from unpleasant experiences, how does it make sense to let those types of things lead you?  What kind of decisions do you think you will make under those circumstances?  When you are hurting/in pain, do you think that you make intelligent decisions?  For most, the answer is probably, No.  This is why it is so important to heal, so that you can make better decisions from a healed place, a place of love and not pain.  Do not let your pain lead you.  You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to live in a much better way.  You deserve love.  Trust me, when you let your pain lead you, it could lead you to the wrong place, with the wrong people, doing the wrong things.  Take time to heal.  And, Never let your emotions, overpower your intelligence.  Don’t let your pain lead you!

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By Lynnette Clement