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In relationships, it could be easy to become complacent and take your mate’s presence in your life for granted, when you think that heshe will always be with you.  With this mindset, you might feel like you don’t have to put your best foot forward to keep your mate happy and content with you.  Sometimes, we forget the things that we did in the beginning of the relationship to “win” their heart, or we get comfortable and lazy and stop doing things that we used to do to contribute to our mates happiness.  Or, things might have occurred in the relationship, that may have changed the way you feel about your mate. 

 

Nevertheless, because you choose to still stay in the relationship with your mate, it is your responsibility, to give your mate the best of yourself.  You don’t have to be perfect, no one is, however, just like you have to perform well to keep a good job, and to be success at it, your mate expects you to do the best you can do as a partner in the relationship.

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Don’t give your mate the bare minimum and think that he/she will remain happy with you.  In a relationship each of us have needs. It is not just about one person when you are in a relationship.  It is not only about you, when you are in a relationship.  You have to consider the needs, thoughts and feelings of your mate as well.  Mediocrity is not the goal for any relationship. Give your mate the best of you, not what you have left.  Give your mate the best of you, not the rest of you.  When you think about your life goals, do you think from an “I” perspective or do you think from a “we” perspective.  Meaning, Is your mate incorporated in your life goals? 

Only Single people should think from an “I” perspective.  It is all about you, when you don’t have anyone else to consider. 

 

When you are in a relationship, however, the goals for your life should include the plans that you have about “US.”  So, if your mate is not included in your plans and goals, he/she will feel like they don’t have a meaningful purpose in your life.  It is your responsibility to make your mate feel included in your life goals, if you plan to build a future with him/her. 

Trust me, Your mate doesn’t want a reason to complain about what you are not doing with him/her, or what you are not saying to him/her. 

 

Don’t look at open and honest communication of needs as a nag or complaint.  When he/she expresses their feelings and tells you what they need from you, as it relates to the relationship, don’t get defensive.  Listen and instead of giving your mate what’s left of you, give your mate the best of you.  Anything that you put 100 percent consistency into usually works.  Are you giving your mate best of you, or are you giving your mate the rest of you (what you have left after you have given yourself (time/your presence, your heart, attention, money, love, communication, sex/intimacy, etc.) to everything else.

 

If you are still with your mate, then a part of you feels like he/she deserves to be in your life, so treat him/her accordingly.  Give your mate the best of you.  If you are unsure about what giving the best of you means, make sure you also listen to the article on the LoveExquisiteLLC YouTube channel titled, “Are You Doing Your Best?”  from the November 2019 issue of the Love Exquisite Magazine.

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By Lynnette Clement