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FOR THE LOVE OF RELATIONSHIPS
TRUST

Trust is important in any relationship. It is unhealthy to worry about whether or not you can or cannot trust your significant other.  Despite the wrong that goes on in the world, don’t hold your mate guilty of the wrongdoings that goes on in the world.  Trust is something that does not come easily.  Most people have to earn trust.  When your mate earns your trust, hold onto that trust, so that you do not easily lose trust in your mate, when things don’t always go as planned.  If your mate does something that makes you distrust him/her, it can be difficult to regain that trust.  However, regaining trust is possible.  When your mate loses trust in you, you have to be patient with him/her when you are trying to regain their trust in you. I’m sorry is an apology that doesn’t always rebuild trust.  However, it is a good place to start.

 

Rebuilding trust requires more than just an apology.  Honoring your words, deeds and actions, as well as positively changed behavior can help rebuild trust.  Regaining trust will require the one who did something to be distrusted to put in the work required to rebuild trust. You will have to reassure your mate that they can trust you again, by asking him/her what do they need from you to rebuild trust.  If you truly want to regain trust again, you have to be willing to do what it takes to regain trust, even if you don’t always like it. If it means that you will have to call more, then call more. If it means that you will have to spend more time with your mate, then spend more time with your mate.  If it means that you have to remind your mate of how much you love him/her, then remind him/her as often as needed.  If you want your relationship to work and you want to rebuild trust, be patient when doing whatever it takes for your mate to trust you again.

When you regain trust in your relationship, don’t bring up what happened in the past that caused you to distrust your mate.  Keep moving forward so that you do not lose trust again.  If you do not trust your mate, make sure that it is because of something that he/she did to you specifically and not something that he/she did prior to meeting you, or because of what you experienced with someone else from your past.  Your mate deserves to be innocent until proven guilty.  Although, I don’t think that people ever really fully trust anyone 100%, however, do not allow your insecurities to prevent you from at least trying to trust the one you love. 

 

Do not let past experiences, assumptions or insecurities interfere with your relationship.  Unless, he/she gives you a reason to not trust him/her, try to trust him/her.  If trust is ever lost in a relationship, it can be very difficult to regain.  So, in your relationships, try not to do things that will cause your mate to distrust you.  If you find that the trust cannot be regained, you might have to walk away and learn from the lesson of what not to do in your next relationship.  Trust is extremely important to having a happy and healthy relationship, so unless your mate gives you a reason to distrust him/her…TRUST him/her.

By Lynnette Clement

Romance in Fall
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