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Life is the biggest teacher.  We are in a constant state of learning…well, at least we should be.  Every encounter that we have with others, is a teachable moment.  There is always something to take away from every encounter.  No one knows everything, there is always something new to learn.  When you are driving and someone cuts you off on the road, you will learn that you have to be aware of your surroundings at all times, patience, how you react to stressful situations, that some people do not know the rules for driving correctly, how to drive defensively, as well as the fact that you cannot drive two cars at the same time.   When you are at work, you will learn how to do your job more efficiently, some leaders do not know how to be effective leaders, some co-workers do not work well in a team environment, work prioritization, work ethic, equity or the lack thereof, and new skills and experiences.  When you are in a relationship with others (no matter which type of relationship it is), you will learn listening and communication skills, etiquette, selflessness, how well you interact and react to others, as well as self-worth and what you are willing to tolerate.  In school you learn how to study, how to develop and disconnect friendships, time management skills through a work/life balance mentality, and subject matter content.  As a parent, you learn parenting skills, what works well and what doesn’t, patience, communication skills, provision, time management through a work/life balance mentality, multi-tasking, unconditional love, as well as how to be resourceful.  If we are not learning these things, in these contexts, we could be missing out on valuable lessons.

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If your life hasn’t taught you anything, then you are wasting it, and missing out on the value of learning.  If you continue to not learn from your life experiences, as well as from your life decisions, you are missing out on your opportunity for growth, and to live life in a much better way.  If you find yourself always saying, this type of thing always happens to me, you have to critically think about what the pattern is that is causing that thing to always happen to you (whatever that thing is), so that you can be the driving force behind changing what could be causing the situations to occur repeatedly.  For example, When you are developing relationships or friendships and people keep leaving you alone, because you don’t spend enough time with them; common sense says, you have to make time, if you don’t want people to continue to leave you.  In this type of situation, learning the common denominator in the situation is the lack of time you spend with others.   Demonstrating that learning occurred, is to make time for others, if you don’t want them to leave you alone.

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Learning is important to growing, in life and in love.  When we do not learn from our life experiences, we are doomed to repeat mistakes.  Learning requires you to care enough about the outcomes that derive from the decisions you make in life.  This is why it is important to think about every decision you make.  You will make mistakes in life.  However, you should learn from your mistakes, so that you do not repeat them.  The definition of insanity, is doing the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result.  Think about the outcome that you want from every decision you make, BEFORE, you make decisions.  Also, think about where your decisions are coming from (your emotions, your heart, your mind, your spirit, past trauma, or coming from someone else’s opinion/feedback).

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When you are making decisions, make sure that your emotions are not “driving” your decisions.  When you are emotionally driven, you usually say or do what you “Feel” and Not say or do what you “Mean.”  Doing so, can produce a negative outcome; one that you may later regret or try to recant (but the damage will already be done).  You have to learn how to regulate your emotions; so that you do not make reactive decisions in haste or immediacy.   Learn how to think critically first so that you can make better decisions…thereby producing better outcomes.  Learn how to not take “snippets” of the story of your life, or “snippets” of your experience with the people in it, and look at your whole story.  Look at the whole person, and your entire experience with that person.  Learn from the entire experience, not just snippets, then make decisions based solely on the entire story; not small portions of the story. 

 

Just like reading a small passage or verse in the Bible, and taking it out of context, because you didn’t read the whole story, you can miss out on the learning experience when you do this with people as well.  Learning from life experiences should cause you to learn more about yourself, so that you can identify the role you play in the outcomes that derive from every life decision that you make. 

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In life, if you are not learning, you will continue to do yourself a disservice.  You will continue to make the same mistakes.  You will continue wasting your precious time, because life is about learning and growing from what you learn.  Therefore, Always be coachable, because you do not have the correct answer to Everything.  Be willing to listen.  Be willing to learn.  When you are not learning, you risk living in error.  Continuing to live in error is being dead, while you are still alive.  I hope you’re smarter than that.  Never stop learning because… in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, “Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."  (i.e., people who are blind to what is really going on, therefore doesn’t try to correct wrongs, and make the decision to live in error, and believe untruths or misinformation).

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By Lynnette Clement